Yeah, it's me, b*tches

I'm Parker. Parker Peterson. The one and only Asian Version of ET. 'What is an Asian Version of ET', you might ask? Well lemme' tell ya'. It's being something you're not. ET isn't freaking Asian, he's just ET! Parker isn't freaking Asian either, he's just Parker...but if I could become something else. Somethinggg...something like, like...an Asian Version of ET, even for just a semester....then I know I gave you people everything I could... something Parker Peterson could not.